This was the third day at Bhakti Fest. To my experience it truly takes 3 days for our bodies to de-compress and our minds to expand and being able to experience our presence, our divine quality of perceiving life in such a way where time and space dissappear. And even words dont do a good job ever to describe such feeling, the feeling of Love. I feel that this is Yoga probably that is why I am obsessed with retreats, you allow yourself the time to go deep into your practice and experience yourself through Yoga.
You dare to be yourself, and this is painful sometimes. I feel like the forst two days we are in that phase, of self-discovery and raw honest truth of being our habits and patterns that take us away from Love.
This was the third Day. And I woke up like this, looking through the window of our RV, and first of all it was raining in the desert ! This is such a blessing, I am thinking as I feel the wind coming in through the open door we left open for Kala (Our Dog) during the night. Neil tells me, look over your shoulder and there it is, the rainbow. Now let me tell you this, rainbows are a way of communication with baba Ram Dass, as a soul, he manifests. And we can all do the same if we believe. So, yes ! I scream YES, YES, YES, YES.
I went on to take an outside shower in the desert and went on to an early Kundalini Class. I never missed a class from Kia Miller, during this festival that was my calling for sure. Early Yoga and then be in the presence of this place, experience the most kirtan and chant my heart and tons of relax. I was for the first time doing this with my husband too, so it was such a lovely and mature experience of LOVE. We went super deep (like we usually do in everything haha) into our devotion as a couple, and experienced so many beautiful people. By day 3 we were so open and floating haha a typical Bhakti Experience (your truly get to levitate out of love). I feel like if you are that person that likes to be high naturally, have a hippie side of life or a yearning for a deep loving experience (non sexual I feel) and improve on yourself, this is a festival to not miss MAAAAAN ! So beautiful.
So day 3, after Kia Miller´s Class which was about the radiant body, I felt radiant. Not in a strong way, quite the opposite. I felt the power in my surrendering and letting go of ideas and concepts in my head. I go and meet Neil at the beginning of Sienna Sherman´s Class, which was absolutely the most divine and magic class ever. So beautiful and simple, lots of breath work and amazing music by Kirtan Soul Revival. Pure bliss basically. It was all about love and entering into Krishna´s truth, which is seeing the divine in ourselves. We felt so open.
Neil and Me (sorry Bhakti Fest :P) decided to stay in that room and squeeze in the next event, because the night before we heard a message to be during this following talk. We met this fairy like guy (www.mysticlinguistics.com) the night before hanging out at Organic India. He comes to talk to us with million ideas and really high on love, like you know when you are talking to a person that just came back from a retreat haha, they go a million miles per hour hahaha (and that is beautiful). So I decided to experience this person completely and just listened deeply. So, he kept going with beautiful messages through stories and we kept listening. He also mentioned so Prem Baba so many times. Before we could even ask he mentions at the end of a phrase "So, have you been to seen him right ?" We say No. And he says ¨You know, I cant believe such a master is here and there is people that have been there to seen him¨. We are like, Ok we promise we will go to him tomorrow.
So, we were there sitting quietly, holding space like we were told just before by the presentor of this event. ¨When you are in the presence of such masters, you have to inhale and exhale their presence. Don´t get lost in the thought, and let their presence heal you. So we were there and this incredible Music starts playing ( Prem Baba brings his kirtan band all over the place he goes WAO!) and all I can honestly feel is so much love! Right away I begin to cry. I can feel this guy already ok. Wao ! Ok so I am so excited and just keep breathing and crying. He enters the room and we all are truly in the presence of a guru. Guru means the person who brings the light, these entities exist and they have the ability to make you aware and conscious in one second through their presence (This is why yogi bhajan says 'if your presence cant speak for you, what will?') therefore experience God in yourself. So, yes you are there breathing this energy, and chanting mantras with such devotion that you are praying.
Prem Baba clears the space, you are SO awake and eventually starts talking and with a great sense of humor as he holds what looks to be like 100 little white papers on one hand, he says ¨You know, all the question here are regarding relationships¨and we all laugh. He continues:
¨ What we forget is that this life is all about relationships. The relationship with ourselves, with everyone and everything else is a mirror. Relationships are the universities of life, where we will need to learn to LOVE. And this test cant be bypassed. Love is the real reason why we are here. We are specifically here on earth to learn how to love, and we do that through relationships. To Love so deep that we let go of the other one to the point we let them not love us.¨ Wao in that moment we all felt that like an arrow to the chest. Because you know, when this people talk, they talk very few words, but their words carry truth and you are not even thinking you are just listening and Receiving the information. He says ¨To love with attachment, is not to love. If we are there we must keep to work on ourselves. That is why we have relationships. Just like the river goes back to the Ocean, we are longing to merge once and for all with oneness.¨ Just like Paramahansa Yogananda says, the wave is not looking forward to merge into another wave. The wave's ultimate destiny is to be with the Ocean. We had this during our wedding ceremony, to remind each other that we are getting married to unite with each other only to become one with God or Spirit, or Oneness. He goes ¨You know when we chant with true deep love or devotion we are basically praying. And if we do that with intention, we must be certain that we will be listened. Just like a child that goes out to play and when he or she comes back, he/she finds out the door of his/her house is shut closed. And he/she begins knocking, Oh Dad Open Up, Oh Mom Open Up ! We chant with that intention because we are those childs that only true yearning or want is to go back home.¨ My eyes kept weeping the whole time, not with an emotion, just filled with so much love and experiencing truth. He kept going through some questions and asweres in this way, but I am trying to write here all the answers and conversations he gave not in order excuses for that. ¨Our issue is that our love is conditional. To experience God we must love unconditionally and that is why we are here. To learn to love so deeply that we allow freedom, no attachment is the only way to love.¨ He brings up a super touching question from a dad saying, I want to teach my daughter about love and peace how can I do that? And he says ¨Yeah, how can we teach anyone about something we dont have.¨
I feel like this concept is being brought up to me this year to share with others. The year of mastery ! We must master ourselves this year. In Kundalini Yoga we teach numerology and the art of understanding numbers is just like any other thing, as powerful as you can see it powerful. Prem Baba said "Some people are born to master maybe only one thing! in other way you could say that some person out there is here on earth with his/her mission to love his/her mother, for example."
Another question was regarding when to leave a relationship when this one feels toxic. He answered ¨If a relationship becomes unbereable because the two people fail to take responsibility for themselves, then you must yes take space for purification because we must learn to not blame anything on anything or anyone.¨ When hard situations come, become aware of what is great in your life. That shifts everything into gratitude and thats the place where we need (not want) to be. So he says, ¨we must learn to see whatever arises in our life, like the lila (Krishna as the source of the infinite created a play in which we are in, meaning that is a dream we created and living in it) it is. Relationships are there to teach us to love undonditionally. It is difficult because we were taught a very conditioned love. I love you if you are a good girl or good boy, so it distortioned us right?¨ So here we go. A great question came in, how do we heal our planet. And he says ¨The best way to heal our planet again, is to not complain.¨We all laughed, and he explains ¨Yes, right now mother earth is going through labor pains, because she is trying to deliver the new child of earth which is TRUTH. To love the earth we need to start having gratitude for everything that she creates¨. Can we love everyone? No not yet. We can´t, so we must keep working. That is the true root of suffering, our conditioned image of a love that is not real. We must become so transparent that we can digest poison.
Another questions was, It seems the people I love the most are the ones that keep hurting me the most. And He Answered "You must do the work to see why you are attracting these people and behaviors because it is you who are calling this energy and behaviors." Again, the art of non complaining is real. "When you take responsibility its like a song I sing to myself", he says. And he went on to sing in portuges something like "When something hurts me really bad, I am so happy to take it as the blessing and lesson it is, because everything I created to bring myself closer to you (meaning real love)".
When we stop blaming anyone and take responsibility for ourselves, we can truly love.
He mentioned also a girl that went to him to ask him about love and relationships. And he said, "You know there is a lot of people that are attached to their suffering. So the only way they feel stimulated is by feeling like they are going to be left, or leaving someone else. So they attract these relationships that are unhealthy because that is the only way they can feel. If someone comes to offer true and free love, they wouldn't even pay attention to it or see it as love. They are so attached to suffering. So our work also in this human incarnation is to let go of our attachment to suffering." True love comes with freedom but until we are not free and let go of our curriculum. Some people show up in life and they bring all of their past stories to support their coping mechanisms, because they are enchanted with their stories. untill you dont the work to Look at yourself deeply, and drop the stories you cant love for real. Love to the point where you set everyone free.
What a beautiful experience. I personally entered a 40 days strict resolution to not complain (Hoping to motivate people out there and we can do this together), this is that least thing I can do as an offering to mother earth in gratitude for all she expresses and gives us. It is our time to grow up, and face it. We have the responsibility to BE, not only exist. We must learn to forgive, because that is the true gift to ourselves. To let go, and aim for oneness. Let the little perosnality Go, and dare to face the change this times are needing. I LOVE YOU, yes all of you. Just be YOU, if I have a problem with that, that is my problem.
Ok, I think that is a good portion of what my soul captured from this meeting with this divine soul and what I am still processing. I am so thankful to Kundalini Yoga, to Bhakti in my life and to the Divine Spirit put next to me , you always rock my world baba Christiansen.
Shanti Om. Sat Nam. Namasté !
(Sorry for anything unsaid, or undone as I tried to write as fast and capture the pure feeling and message rather than getting lost in a perfect blog or article)